恭敬讓我贏得終生好友
Respect Earned Me a Friend for Life

文／菲律賓海天禪寺研經禪修班學員　傳諾

　　我第一次看到「中台四箴行」時，覺得很簡單、不複雜，通俗易懂。它講的是，恭敬尊重、慈悲同理、合作協調，還有誠實不欺──這是在社會上做一個好人最基本的步驟。看起來很容易做到，至少我是這麼認為；但事實上，說時容易做時難。

　　談談第一個「恭敬」。我在兩個非常嚴格的祖母下成長，她們教會我要尊重比我年長的長者。但我卻不知道也包含恭敬上司，及比自己知識淵博和經驗豐富的人。而這就是造成我在工作上失敗、一塌糊塗的原因。

　　女兒大學畢業開始工作後，我決定不在職場上繼續拚命工作與人競爭了，決定做完這份工作就退休。但任職期間，我被調到另一個更高薪、更高職位的部門，而那正是我痛苦的開始。

　　有傳言說，那位部門主管是個糊塗的人。與她共事一段時間後，我發現這個傳言是有道理的。我變得驕傲自大，相信自己比上司好、比她聰明得多，甚至嘲笑她的錯誤，而不願意給與任何幫助。我只做我該做的，並按照自己的方式工作。我很想辭職，但我非常熱愛這個工作，到底該走還是該留下？我進退兩難，像是身處於地獄之中。

　　後來，我學到恭敬的深層意涵，那時我才明白，原來是我的傲慢，讓自己看不到上司的優點，於是我給自己一個機會去了解她的優點。她也許不是很聰明，但有一顆善良的心，這是我遠遠比不上她的。她有一副慈悲的心腸，非常願意幫助朋友。從那時起，我變得很願意與她共事，也盡我所能地幫助她，給她應有的尊重。經過一段時間後，我們變成了好朋友。雖然現在沒有一起工作了，但仍保有這份友誼。正是恭敬，讓我贏得了這位終生好友。

　　（When I first read The Four Tenets of Chung Tai, I found it really simple, uncomplicated, and easy to comprehend. It is about respect, empathy/compassion, cooperation/conformity, and the last, honesty—the very basic steps to becoming a good person and a good member of society. Seems easy enough to practice, or so I thought. Based on experience, it is easier said than done.

　　Let’s talk about the first Tenet—Respect! I grew up with two very strict grandmothers who taught me to always respect my elders, those who are older by age. But I did not know that respecting the elders includes those who are our superiors and those who have more knowledge and experience in life. And here is where I failed miserably at the workplace.

　　After my daughter finished college and started working, I decided that I no longer need to work like a dog and compete professionally. I told myself then that it would be my last job until I retire. In the middle of tenure, I was transferred to another department for a better pay and a better position. That’s when my suffering started.

　　Rumor has it that the head of the department is a confused person. After working with her for some time, I found that there was truth to the rumor. I became proud and arrogant, and I let myself believe that I was better than my boss and far more intelligent than her. I found myself laughing at her mistakes and unwilling to assist her in any way. I just did what was expected of me and worked on my own terms. I wanted to resign but I loved my job so much. Should I stay or should I go? I was in hell.

　　Then I learned the profound meaning of the first Tenet. I knew then that my arrogance prevented me from seeing the good in my superior. I then gave myself a chance to get to know her good qualities. She may not be very bright, but she has a good heart which is more than I can say about me. She is kind and very supportive. From then on, I became more cooperative and tried my best to assist her in whatever way I can. I gave her the respect she deserved. After a while, we became friends. And now that we no longer work together, we still remain friends. Respect earned me a friend for life.）