当初来到佛心寺上禅修班，只是想要学习静坐，以及对于佛教有更多的了解，结果我却在禅修课程中认识了自己，并且明白如何面对真相。

　　静坐对我来说曾经非常困难，即便是现在有时仍然如此。我有一颗躁动不安的心，要降伏脱缰野马般的心念实在是种挑战。经过禅修的练习之后，我已经能够让散乱的念头来来去去而不理会它；如今只要我感到不愉快，就会从静坐当中寻求内心的宁静。

　　而禅修课程中的佛法开示也非常有益处，我总是可以学到一些对自己有帮助的道理；每个人都要为自己的苦痛负责，这是很难接受的真相，因为埋怨他人总是比较容易，可是尽管我们想把这一切归咎于他人，但终究并非事实。

心定柔和自家齐

　　以前，我有时会在很短的时间之内，就突然大发雷霆。现在我会先深呼吸，不让愤怒停留在心中，因此能够控制自己的脾气，我会让自己平静下来，以没有执着的心来审视处境，试着去了解为何对方会认为他们的选择是正确的，有时候对方的思维，的确是错误的，可是我会尝试让他们了解自己的错谬思维，而非一味地向他们发怒，因为生气对彼此都没有好处。禅修让我成为一个较少发脾气、慈悲心也增长的人。

　　由于自己在情绪处理方式上的转变，让大家注意到我学佛后显著的不同，也驱使他们开始询问有关佛法的问题，并且来到佛心寺，想要了解我在这里做什么？学习些什么？我的父母来寺院上课并且受了三皈依，这对他们来说是莫大的荣耀；我的两个女儿也来上禅修班，而我的外孙女长大之后也会来学佛；同修很支持我们全家人的修行，也很欢喜地与我们讨论在精舍所学到的点点滴滴。我们家曾经充满了暴力和混乱，家人必须共同对抗紊乱以维系整个家庭；现在我们却能够团结一心，家中充满着宁静与和谐的氛围，因为禅修是我们共同认可的事。

　　修行学佛是我今生做过最简单，同时也是最困难的事。修行很简单，因为就只是追寻真理而已；但是它又很艰难，因为真相令人难以接受。人生的苦痛与解脱、天堂和地狱，都操之在己！

　　(I came to the monastery to meditate and to learn more about Buddhism. I ended up learning about myself and how to face the truth.

　　The meditation was and is hard sometimes for me. I have a monkey mind and calming monkeys is a challenge. After practicing I am able to let the random thoughts pass out of my mind. Now when I become upset I search for the calm mind I have during meditation.

　　The Dharma talks are beneficial. I always take away something that will help me. It is hard facing the responsibility for your suffering is on you. It is easier to blame others but that is not the truth even if you want it to be.

　　I have been known to get very angry very fast. Now I take a breath, let the anger pass over me, I then put the anger on hold. I calm my mind and try to look at the situation without attachments. I try to understand why the person would think their choice was correct. Sometimes they have just had faulty thinking, so instead of using the anger that doesn't help either of us, I try to help them understand the faulty thinking. My anger is on me, their choices are on them. My practice has helped me become a less angry and more compassionate person.

　　The change in the way that I handle my temper is what people notice the most about my practice. It has caused people to ask questions about Buddhism. It has caused people to come to the monastery to see what they are doing to me or teaching me there. My Father and Mother go to the monastery and to take the three refuges with them was an honor. My two daughters come with me and my granddaughter would be raised going to the monastery. My husband supports us all in our practice and enjoys talking with us on things that we have learned. With all the chaos and violence we have fought off together as a family to all come together in peace. It is the one thing we all agree on.

　　The practice of Buddhism is the easiest and the hardest thing I have ever done. It is simple, seek the truth. But the truth is hard. My salvation, damnation, heaven or hell rest only with me.)