While growing up as a child, I always had stomach pain, but the doctors turned me away because they said I was too young to be sick. The doctors put me on pain medication and told me the pain would go away. I remember times when I was rolling on the floor in the living room holding my stomach and complaining to my parents about my pain. Did they not care about me? Now that I look back, they ignored me not because they didn't care; it was because I was complaining too much and there was nothing they could do to help me.

（小时候我经常胃痛，但是医生们总是不当一回事，他们认为我太小，不可能会生病。医生开止痛药给我，并且说：「你的胃很快就不会痛了。」但是，有好几次我痛到抱着肚子在客厅地板上打滚，并向父母诉苦，但是父母无法解除我的痛苦。难道他们不关心我吗？回忆起来，我终于明白：他们并非因为不关心而忽视我的痛苦，而是因为我老是在抱怨胃痛，所以他们实在不知道该如何帮助我。）

　　When I was in high school, I started to suffer from low back pain. Not knowing what had triggered it, none of the doctors really did anything to help ease the pain. They assumed that it would eventually go away, or I would not complain about it anymore. At least at my age, they didn't think it was anything serious. I've gone to see physical therapists, sports injury specialists, chiropractors and even an acupuncturist. No one could do anything that could ease the pain. Their treatments either had no effect or only gave temporary relief. At that time, even a day of relief was appreciated. I started having negative thoughts toward doctors and medications. I began losing faith in doctors and always resented going back to them since they couldn't help me.

（读高中时，我开始有了下背痛。由于找不到原因，所以也没有任何医生能治好它。医生认为我的背痛一定会消失，或者我最后会停止抱怨；总之，在我那样的年纪，他们不认为背痛有什么大不了的。我曾经看过物理治疗师、运动伤害专家、脊椎指压治疗师，甚至针灸师，却没有人可以减轻我的痛苦。他们的治疗不是完全没有效果，就是只能暂时舒缓疼痛而已。那时候，只要谁能让我一天不痛，我就非常感激他。我开始对医疗有消极的想法，我变得不信任医生，也很厌恶再看医生，因为他们根本帮不上忙！）

　　By the time I was in college, new pain and symptoms started to appear. I started to get sciatica (nerve pain) radiating down my legs. This made it difficult for me to drive and sit in class for long periods of time. I continued going to physical therapy and seeing a chiropractor for temporary relief. Again, the stereotype of my age being too young had a big part in the therapist's analysis. I was easily irritated by the thoughts of my age and the doctors not accepting the fact that there was something wrong with me that was causing my pain. By this time, I grew tired; I started to accept the fact that my back pain was chronic and that I would have to live with it for the rest of my life. I remember thinking to myself… "Why me? What did I do to deserve this?" Not knowing the principles of Cause and Effect, I didn't realize that these symptoms could have been caused by an accumulation of past karma. I continued to go to different doctors hoping that one day someone could find something to help with my pain and problem. Doing this was just an action to satisfy myself so I could say I have done something by trying to seek someone for help.

（在我念大学时，又出现新的症状。我开始有坐骨神经痛，而且往下一直痛到双腿。这使得我很难开车，上课时也无法久坐。我持续地作物理治疗及脊椎指压治疗，以使疼痛获得短暂的缓解。但同样地，治疗师们又因为我年纪轻而不认为我真的有病。我经常为此发火，因为他们老是不肯相信。虽然我年纪轻，可是我的身体的确出了问题，所以才会造成疼痛。我实在厌倦了看医生，我开始面对现实：这种背痛是慢性的，所以我下半辈子都得与它共存。我问自己：「为什么是我？我到底做了什么，必须承受这些痛苦？」当时我并不明白因果的道理，不知道这些症状可能是由过去造的业所引起；我只能不断地换医生，希望有一天，有人能治好我的病。这么做其实只为了对自己有所交代，因为我至少曾经寻求协助。）

　　Each day passed with the thought that my 'chronic pain' would be stuck with me forever. I mentally learned to accept the fact that my body has to adapt to the pain. As I got older, my pain kept coming and going. Over a year and a half ago, I started to endure another new type of pain. My neck, shoulder and arms were hurting to a pain level that was much more intense than my back at this point. I used to think that it was unfair for me to have to go through this kind of 'torture'.

（日子一天天过去，我始终认为：这种慢性的疼痛将跟着我一辈子。我学着去接受事实，让身体适应疼痛。随着年岁的增长，我的疼痛也来来去去。大约一年半前，我又开始觉得脖子、肩膀和手臂都在痛，这种痛甚至比背痛还要强烈许多。我常想：受尽各种疼痛的折磨，对我而言是多么不公平！）

　　This type of torture aggravated my anger at home. Thinking that no one could understand my pain the way I do, I was very ignorant and expected my family to sympathize with my pain. This time the pain was irritable to a point where it affected my performance at work. That was when I decided it was unacceptable for me. I needed to really find someone to figure out what I needed to fix the pain. Luckily, two months ago, I was referred to a specialist who took the time to find out exactly the trigger area that was causing pain in my neck and shoulder. I have gone through an epidural injection procedure, which has diminished the pain tremendously. Currently, I have only have minor sporadic pains that I can deal with because it has diminished to a very low pain level.

（病痛的折磨，让我在家时更容易发怒。我认为没有人能体会我的痛苦，并且很愚痴地希望家人能对我表示同情。疼痛的程度已经到了影响工作的地步了，因此我不再忍耐，决定非要找到一个人帮我解除痛苦。很幸运地，两个月前有人转介我到一个专家那里，他帮我找出了引发颈部和肩膀疼痛的部位。我接受了硬膜外注射，这个疗程大大地减轻了我的疼痛，现在只剩下非常轻微的偶发性疼痛，我也可以轻松地面对它了。）

　　Since I started going to Buddha Gate Monastery, I realized I had many negative thoughts and I was selfish in thinking that the increase of my pain was due to the incompetence of the doctors. I blamed my family for not understanding my sufferings, when it was my own anger that I was to blame. I let the pain I've been growing up with overpower me. The chain reaction explains the example of Cause & Effect. Now that I have started to utilize my Buddhist practice, I've come to realize that my actions play a huge part in how I should react to my pain. I've started to recognize and judge my behavior and situations differently. One major change that I've put into practice is to slow down my multi-task lifestyle and only attend to things I believe I can handle and that are important.

（来到佛门寺以后，我才意识到原来自己有许多负面的想法。过去，我自私地认为身体的疼痛是由于医生的无能而加剧的，并责怪家人不了解我所受的苦，但事实上应该怪的是自己的瞠恨心，因为我被从小到大不间断的疼痛所击倒。学佛之后，我开始将佛法的道理运用在生活上，并且醒悟：在面对疼痛时，自己的反应将是影响结果的重要关键。我对自己所面临的状况及应对的方式，开始有了不同的认识和判断。我作了很大的改变，放慢了生活步调，不再一口气做太多事情，而只处理自己可以应付得来并真正重要的事。）

　　After taking meditation classes and listening to the Dharma talks, it seems like a luxury to take the time to sit and meditate. With our mind full of many thoughts, we need to purify our mind in order to have a clear understanding of what issues we are facing and how we are to deal with them. I also realize I was too attached to my body being in pain. My body is impermanent so I need to accept the pain at that very moment and then let that thought go. By changing my negative views and instead of complaining about it, I tell myself to let go of the thought of pain and it will subside on it's own, eventually.

（参加禅修班并听经闻法后，拨出一些时间静坐，对我而言是一件非常棒的事。我们的心中有太多的念头，必须让心清净，才能看清楚所面对的问题，并且明白该如何适当地处理它。我也了解，自己过去真的太执着身体的痛苦了。身体是无常的，所以当疼痛发生时，我应该接受它，并且放下「痛」的念头。我改变负面的思维方式，不再抱怨，并告诉自己只要不理会痛的念头，它终究会消失的。）

　　I never imagined that I could learn from my own pain. It is not the pain my body is going through that I am listening to, but it is my mind that I need to pay attention to. Giving my physical body rest and taking the time to take care of myself can give me the opportunity to become aware of myself and helps me determine what my next step will be. Since I still have pain after I started practicing Buddhism, I have gradually started meditating longer daily and used that time to calm my mind down. It is funny how my whole body feels much lighter and the pain does not linger on as long now that I think about it differently.

（我从未想过能因病痛而成长。值得我细心关照的对象，并不是身体的病痛，而是自己的心念。让身体休息并花时间观照自心，让我有机会认识自己，并且明白下一步该如何做。由于身体的疼痛并未完全消除，我逐渐拉长静坐的时间，利用静坐让心平静下来。有趣的是，因为我对疼痛的想法改变了，所以也感觉身体轻松了许多，疼痛也不再持续得那么久了。）