我是從網路得知海天禪寺有開設禪修班的消息。我對禪坐感興趣並不是因為它是免費的，而是因為對於人生的疑惑，我一直在找尋令人滿意的答案。對於人生，我有兩個疑惑：第一，什麼人生真正的快樂？第二，我是誰？

　　我已經上完初級、中級禪修班，現在我是高級禪修班。從中學到很多，而且改掉很多壞習氣。例如：第一，我戒煙了；從一天三包煙，到現在完全不抽煙。第二，我學會控制不發脾氣。第三，我學會做一位觀察者。第四，我能夠用慈悲心去對待所有的眾生，特別是動物蟲蟻等。為什麼特別要對動物蟲蟻慈悲？因為他們最需要我們的慈悲心及同理心。第五，我盡量茹素，不是因為自己的健康，而是為了慈悲一切眾生。

　　這些只是我其中幾個習氣的改變而已。主要都要歸功於我在海天禪寺上課、聽法師開示，以及打坐禪修的緣故。其中最重要的是我有養成打坐、修觀行的習慣。我記得法師曾經問我，為什麼你要來上禪修班？我的回答是，來找我的真心，這與我第二個疑惑「我是誰」有關。假如現在師父再問我，我會回答：「我只是想練習把心靜下來。我不會希求要證到什麼境界。因為想要證到什麼境界，還是一種欲望。」

　　現在，我一種感覺，我覺得愈來愈接近我的真心本性。重要的是，我想要真誠地去對待別人和自己，真實地接受我的生活和我的樣子，還要真誠地學習知足滿足，不要被物質薰心。而且我所有的行為與禪修都有關係。例如：從我家到海天禪寺需要三小時的車程，回家又要花另外的三小時，在車上的時間就是我禪修的一部分。

　　我也會找大自然只有綠樹鳥鳴的地方打坐。起床後及睡覺前，我也會在自己的寮房打坐。有時我特意找很多人的地方打坐；當我聽外面吵雜的聲音，我的心依然很平靜。每次打坐時，都覺得很有福報，因為得到一份最大的禮物——心中的寂靜。

　　海天禪寺對我來說，是最安全最平靜的地方。過去我因為想要自由而參加示威活動，但現在我明白其實要得到自由，並不需要去參加那些示威。因為藉由禪修，我可以在我的真心中，找到最圓滿的自在與自由。而這一個方法，就是專注清楚地觀息。

　　自從來到海天禪寺，我增長了很多有意義的福報。有了新朋友、新的人生觀，還有認識了眾生的覺性。對於我的第一個疑惑：什麼是人生真正的快樂？我曾替別人想過很多答案。有些人的快樂來自於得到很多寶貴的東西，像金錢、健康等等。但對我而言，真正的快樂是活在寂靜中，沒有任何執著。現在的我暫時還達不到，也許下輩子可以做到。

　　對於我的第二個的疑惑：我是誰？至今還沒體會到。但現在內心深處很清楚知道自己是佛弟子。很感恩能做一位修行人、能成為海天禪寺的一分子。有這些法師做我的老師，是我很大的福報。在此也非常感恩所有的法師們、工作人員、義工菩薩。

The Perfect Freedom

By Marcelo V. Manuel

　　I found Ocean Sky Chan Monastery through the internet. I got interested in studying Zen meditation not because it was free, but because I was searching for perfect answers to my questions: 1. What is true happiness? 2. Who am I?

　　After attending beginners' class, intermediate class, and now I am in the advance meditation class. I have learned so many things, which also led to changes in many of my bad habits. For example: 1. I have stopped smoking. From 3 packs a day, I have now totally quit. 2. I have learned to control my anger. 3. I have learned to adopt the attitude of being just an observer. 4. I have improved to become compassionate towards all sentient beings, especially the animals and insects. Why insects and animals? It is because they need the most attention and understanding from us. 5. I try to become vegetarian. It is not because it is good for the health, but because it is part of being compassionate towards sentient beings.

　　These are just some of the things that have changed in me. And it is all because of attending classes here in Ocean Sky and listening to the Dharma talks of Shifu. Essentially, it is because of my Zen meditation practice.

　　I remember Shifu once asked me why I wanted to study meditation. My answer was to find my true mind. (Which is connected to my question of who am I?) Now, if Shifu were to ask me again, my answer would be: “I just want to practice and to calm my mind. I do not care what I attain, because wanting to attain something is already a desire.”

　　Right now, I have a feeling that I am close to finding my true self. The important thing is for me to be true to myself and to the people I encounter, to accept my status in life and how I look like, and to learn to be contented and not to be materialistic. Now, I can relate all my actions to Zen. For example, the travel time between my house and Ocean Sky is 3 hours coming and another 3 hours going back. I consider the journey as part of my Zen practice.

　　I try to meditate in a natural setting, where there are only trees and birds around me; in my room in the morning and before I go to sleep; and in places where there are a lot of people moving around, I hear the noise but still, my mind is calm. Each time I meditate, I feel blessed because I always receive the greatest gift—silence is the greatest gift for me.

　　Ocean Sky Chan Monastery is the safest and most peaceful place for me. I always demanded freedom, but I do not actually need to join these rallies to demand freedom, because deep inside my true mind, I can achieve the perfect freedom through the help of Zen meditation. There is only one rule to follow: Focus and mind my own breath.

　　I have received important merits since coming to Ocean Sky. I have gained new friends, fresh points of views, and the awareness in understanding all sentient beings. To answer my first question about the true happiness of people, I think for many of them, their happiness is from obtaining valuable things like money, wealth, etc. But for me, true happiness is to live in silence and have no attachment. For now, I still cannot do it; maybe in my next life.

　　To answer my second question, who am I, I am not sure yet who I am. What I know for now is that I am a Buddhist deep inside. I am thankful to be a practitioner and a part of Ocean Sky Chan Monastery. It is a great blessing to have all the Shifus as my teachers. To all the Shifus, staff and volunteers, thank you very much.