我是从网路得知海天禅寺有开设禅修班的消息。我对禅坐感兴趣并不是因为它是免费的，而是因为对于人生的疑惑，我一直在找寻令人满意的答案。对于人生，我有两个疑惑：第一，什么人生真正的快乐？第二，我是谁？

　　我已经上完初级、中级禅修班，现在我是高级禅修班。从中学到很多，而且改掉很多坏习气。例如：第一，我戒烟了；从一天三包烟，到现在完全不抽烟。第二，我学会控制不发脾气。第三，我学会做一位观察者。第四，我能够用慈悲心去对待所有的众生，特别是动物虫蚁等。为什么特别要对动物虫蚁慈悲？因为他们最需要我们的慈悲心及同理心。第五，我尽量茹素，不是因为自己的健康，而是为了慈悲一切众生。

　　这些只是我其中几个习气的改变而已。主要都要归功于我在海天禅寺上课、听法师开示，以及打坐禅修的缘故。其中最重要的是我有养成打坐、修观行的习惯。我记得法师曾经问我，为什么你要来上禅修班？我的回答是，来找我的真心，这与我第二个疑惑「我是谁」有关。假如现在师父再问我，我会回答：「我只是想练习把心静下来。我不会希求要证到什么境界。因为想要证到什么境界，还是一种欲望。」

　　现在，我一种感觉，我觉得愈来愈接近我的真心本性。重要的是，我想要真诚地去对待别人和自己，真实地接受我的生活和我的样子，还要真诚地学习知足满足，不要被物质薰心。而且我所有的行为与禅修都有关系。例如：从我家到海天禅寺需要三小时的车程，回家又要花另外的三小时，在车上的时间就是我禅修的一部分。

　　我也会找大自然只有绿树鸟鸣的地方打坐。起床后及睡觉前，我也会在自己的寮房打坐。有时我特意找很多人的地方打坐；当我听外面吵杂的声音，我的心依然很平静。每次打坐时，都觉得很有福报，因为得到一份最大的礼物——心中的寂静。

　　海天禅寺对我来说，是最安全最平静的地方。过去我因为想要自由而参加示威活动，但现在我明白其实要得到自由，并不需要去参加那些示威。因为借由禅修，我可以在我的真心中，找到最圆满的自在与自由。而这一个方法，就是专注清楚地观息。

　　自从来到海天禅寺，我增长了很多有意义的福报。有了新朋友、新的人生观，还有认识了众生的觉性。对于我的第一个疑惑：什么是人生真正的快乐？我曾替别人想过很多答案。有些人的快乐来自于得到很多宝贵的东西，像金钱、健康等等。但对我而言，真正的快乐是活在寂静中，没有任何执着。现在的我暂时还达不到，也许下辈子可以做到。

　　对于我的第二个的疑惑：我是谁？至今还没体会到。但现在内心深处很清楚知道自己是佛弟子。很感恩能做一位修行人、能成为海天禅寺的一分子。有这些法师做我的老师，是我很大的福报。在此也非常感恩所有的法师们、工作人员、义工菩萨。

The Perfect Freedom

By Marcelo V. Manuel

　　I found Ocean Sky Chan Monastery through the internet. I got interested in studying Zen meditation not because it was free, but because I was searching for perfect answers to my questions: 1. What is true happiness? 2. Who am I?

　　After attending beginners' class, intermediate class, and now I am in the advance meditation class. I have learned so many things, which also led to changes in many of my bad habits. For example: 1. I have stopped smoking. From 3 packs a day, I have now totally quit. 2. I have learned to control my anger. 3. I have learned to adopt the attitude of being just an observer. 4. I have improved to become compassionate towards all sentient beings, especially the animals and insects. Why insects and animals? It is because they need the most attention and understanding from us. 5. I try to become vegetarian. It is not because it is good for the health, but because it is part of being compassionate towards sentient beings.

　　These are just some of the things that have changed in me. And it is all because of attending classes here in Ocean Sky and listening to the Dharma talks of Shifu. Essentially, it is because of my Zen meditation practice.

　　I remember Shifu once asked me why I wanted to study meditation. My answer was to find my true mind. (Which is connected to my question of who am I?) Now, if Shifu were to ask me again, my answer would be: “I just want to practice and to calm my mind. I do not care what I attain, because wanting to attain something is already a desire.”

　　Right now, I have a feeling that I am close to finding my true self. The important thing is for me to be true to myself and to the people I encounter, to accept my status in life and how I look like, and to learn to be contented and not to be materialistic. Now, I can relate all my actions to Zen. For example, the travel time between my house and Ocean Sky is 3 hours coming and another 3 hours going back. I consider the journey as part of my Zen practice.

　　I try to meditate in a natural setting, where there are only trees and birds around me; in my room in the morning and before I go to sleep; and in places where there are a lot of people moving around, I hear the noise but still, my mind is calm. Each time I meditate, I feel blessed because I always receive the greatest gift—silence is the greatest gift for me.

　　Ocean Sky Chan Monastery is the safest and most peaceful place for me. I always demanded freedom, but I do not actually need to join these rallies to demand freedom, because deep inside my true mind, I can achieve the perfect freedom through the help of Zen meditation. There is only one rule to follow: Focus and mind my own breath.

　　I have received important merits since coming to Ocean Sky. I have gained new friends, fresh points of views, and the awareness in understanding all sentient beings. To answer my first question about the true happiness of people, I think for many of them, their happiness is from obtaining valuable things like money, wealth, etc. But for me, true happiness is to live in silence and have no attachment. For now, I still cannot do it; maybe in my next life.

　　To answer my second question, who am I, I am not sure yet who I am. What I know for now is that I am a Buddhist deep inside. I am thankful to be a practitioner and a part of Ocean Sky Chan Monastery. It is a great blessing to have all the Shifus as my teachers. To all the Shifus, staff and volunteers, thank you very much.